We can work on Reader’s “hook?”

  1. What is the reader’s “hook?” In other words, how does the introduction paragraph begin? (The hook should probably be a STORY involving your term; look at the CQ Researcher articles as examples!) Do you have any suggestions for improving it?
  2. Is the hook the right length? A hook that is only 1-2 sentences is too short; 5-10 sentences is a much better length for the hook.
  3. What is the thesis statement? Does it avoid announcement? (Remember, announcement is a 10-point penalty! An example of announcement would be: “In this essay, I will explain…”) The thesis should not be a dictionary definition, but in the writer’s own words or quoted from a source.
  4. Does the introduction paragraph include a definition of the term? If the definition is in your partner’s own words, no citation is needed. If the definition is taken from a source, there should also be a parenthetical citation. Is there?
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Sample Answer

 

 

 

 

What is the reader’s “hook?” How does the introduction paragraph begin?

  • Ideally, the hook should be a compelling story or anecdote that directly relates to the term being discussed. This could be a personal experience, a news event, a historical example, or a fictional scenario.

  • In the provided essay, the hook appears to be a general statement about the challenge of reducing labor costs while preserving jobs. While this sets the stage, it lacks the engaging power of a specific story or anecdote.

  • Suggestions for Improvement:

    • Personal Anecdote: “Imagine a company facing declining profits due to increased competition. Faced with the daunting task of reducing costs, the leadership grapples with a difficult decision: downsize the workforce or find alternative solutions. This scenario highlights the delicate balance between financial viability and employee well-being, a challenge faced by businesses across various industries.”

Full Answer Section

 

 

 

 

    • News Event: “The recent wave of layoffs across the tech industry serves as a stark reminder of the precarious nature of employment in today’s economy. As companies grapple with economic uncertainty, the need to reduce costs while minimizing the impact on their workforce has become a critical challenge.”
    • Historical Example: “The rise of industrial automation in the late 19th century led to widespread job displacement, forcing society to grapple with the social and economic consequences of technological advancement. This historical precedent underscores the importance of proactive strategies for managing workforce transitions in the face of evolving technologies.”

2. Is the hook the right length?

  • The current hook is likely too short. As mentioned earlier, a more effective hook would be 5-10 sentences in length, allowing for a richer and more engaging introduction.

3. What is the thesis statement? Does it avoid announcement?

  • The thesis statement is not explicitly stated in the provided excerpt.
  • To avoid announcement, the thesis statement should present the writer’s main argument or claim about the topic. For example:
    • “By strategically implementing flexible work arrangements, investing in employee training and development, and leveraging technology to automate repetitive tasks, businesses can effectively reduce labor costs while minimizing the need for layoffs and fostering a more resilient and adaptable workforce.”
    • “The successful implementation of cost-reduction strategies requires a comprehensive understanding of workforce dynamics, including job analysis, employee skillsets, and the potential impact of technological advancements on the future of work.”

By incorporating these suggestions, the introduction can be significantly strengthened, making it more engaging and impactful for the reader.

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