Critique and Comments
The article lacks a clear thesis statement, which makes it hard for the reader to identify what it is all about. This part must usually take the last sentence of the introduction part. A good article ought to have a well-stated thesis, which guides its structure. However, from the heading, it is talking about the issue of obesity and if enough has been done to address the issue. From the article, there is a clear definition of the problem and gives reliable statistics to support the assertions on the prevalence of the health issue in the current society (Gussone, 2017). However, it fails to demonstrate how little has been done to address the challenge posed by obesity. The health service providers or caregivers are not the only players in the field who can tackle obesity. The health problem is more prevalent because of the lifestyles we have adopted as a society. Refined foodstuffs or junk food and lack of regular physical exercise are the main drivers behind the growing numbers of overweight people in the contemporary society (Youlian, et al., 2016). Without addressing these areas, obesity will remain an endemic problem and will keep on growing.
The literature review is not exhaustive; there is a lot of text on the issue that could make it rich and more compelling. More articles should be added to give more information on efforts made to address the issue of obesity (MacEwan, Alston, & Okrent, 2014). They are articles that touch on the cost of obesity to the families and the government, which could enrich the literature review and help ground the revision.
The article also lacks a clear conclusion; what is presented as a conclusion introduces new points that had not been discussed in the main body. In addition, it is too long, making it un-proportional to the rest of the article. A good conclusion should be concise and give a summary of the main findings. Instead, this article has a new area of discussion under the conclusion, which makes make the whole paper to lack a flow.
The article should have also covered more on the need to change the approach to addressing obesity, especially on the need to invest more in the prevention than diagnostic and treatment. Physical exercise and healthy nutrition should be promoted for a long-term solution to the health problem. The current policy measures have focused more on diagnostic of the ailment and those who are prone to it; this is okay, but not a corrective action plan to ensure that a few people are becoming obese. Without addressing the root cause of obesity, the problem will continue to grow each passing day (Rosettie, et al., 2018). Consequently, there is a need to engage more than just a health sector in trying to find a lasting solution.
The problem of the food policy, which when addressed can significantly impact on the lowering of the obese case in the country, should have been captured in the article. The type of food that the nation consumes is a big problem that the article should have covered. Alston and Okrent (2017) observe that fast genetic engineering and industrial food production have immensely contributed to unhealthy nutrition. It would have been also important for the article to mention that, according to the CDC report of 2017, 70 per cent of Americans are either obese or overweight, which underscore the threat of obesity to the US health sector (Meyer, 2017). Whereas I agree that little has been done, it is also important to note that much has been channeled towards curative than preventive. Obesity is an issue that can effectively be dealt with through a preventive approach than curative. In fact, prevention of the illness will contribute to a drastic reduction in the case of diabetes, hypertension, heart ailments, and kidney diseases.
The fact that prior to 2013 obesity was not considered to be a disease makes it hard to have established an earlier proper policy framework to handle the issue. In this respect, the article ought to have focused much on the success and failures that have been registered in the last five years with regard to combating obesity. Although much is yet to be done, the efforts towards combating obesity have been boosted by the recognition of the health challenge as a disease. It is because of this development that there is funding for diagnostic and treatment of obesity. The special caregivers have also been availed to deal with the patients who are obese. In essence, this is a big improvement that cannot be ignored.
In conclusion, the article needs to have a clear thesis statement, an in-depth literature review, discussion section, and a proper conclusion. The conclusion ought to only cover the points that are discussed in the body and not serve as another area discussing new issues. The reliability of the research paper depends on how well it is structured, with each part exhaustively covering the pertinent issues under it in a more professional way.
Alston, J.M., & Okrent, A.M. (2017). The Effects of Farm and Food Policy on Obesity in the United States. New York: Palgrave Macmillan US.
Gussone, F. (2017). America’s Obesity Epidemic Reaches Record High, New Report Says. Retrieved from: https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/america-s-obesity-epidemic-reaches-record-high-new-report-says-n810231
MacEwan, J.P., Alston, J.M., & Okrent, A.M. (2014). The Consequences of Obesity for the External Costs of Public Health Insurance in the United States. Applied Economic Perspectives & Policy, 36(4), 696-716.
Meyer, D. (2017). Obesity in America Keeps Getting Worse, Says New CDC Report. Retrieved from: http://fortune.com/2017/10/13/obesity-in-america/
Rosettie, K.L., Micha, R., Cudhea, F., Peñalvo, J.L., O’Flaherty, M., Pearson-Stuttard, J., & … Mozaffarian, D. (2018). Comparative risk assessment of school food environment policies and childhood diets, childhood obesity, and future cardiometabolic mortality in the United States. Plos ONE, 1-15.
Youlian, L., Siegel, P.Z., Garraza, L.G., Ye, X., Shaoman, Y., Scardaville, M., & … Stephens, R. L. (2016). Reduced Prevalence of Obesity in 14 Disadvantaged Black Communities in the United States: A Successful 4-Year Place-Based Participatory Intervention. American Journal Of Public Health, 106(8), 1442-1448.
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