Paragraphs

1. Read the following paragraph from McDonald’s 2009 Annual Report, identify which pattern it follows, and annotate it.

“Concerning McDonald’s performance, there are three milestones that I want to recognize: First, our 2009 comparable sales increase marked the sixth consecutive year of positive sales in every geographic segment of our business. Second, our increasingly relevant menu options, combined with clear competitive advantages in convenience and value, enabled us to serve 60 million customers per day last year. This is up 2 million from the prior year and a remarkable 14 million more per day compared to 2002. Third, as a result of these sustained operating results, McDonald’s total stock return for the three-year period ending in 2009 was ranked number one among the 30 blue-chip companies that comprise the Dow Jones Industrial Average. These singular achievements relate directly to our historic decision in 2003 to reinvent McDonald’s by becoming “better, not just bigger.” See the complete report here.

Read the following paragraph from Doing Business 2011 published by the World Bank in late 2010, identify which pattern it follows, and annotate it.

“Consider the story of Bedi Limited, a garment producer in Nakuru, Kenya. After spending 18 months pursuing a trial order for school items from Tesco, one of the largest retail chains in the United Kingdom, Bedi lost out on the chance to become part of its [Tesco’s] global supply chain. Bedi had everything well planned to meet a delivery date set for July. But the goods were delayed at the port. When they arrived in the United Kingdom in August, it was too late. The back-to-school promotion was over. Changes to regulations and procedures can help improve the overall trade logistics environment, enabling companies like Bedi to capture such growth opportunities.”

Select a topic and then write a paragraph that follows the explanation/description pattern. After you’re happy with the results, annotate each element in the paragraph.

Select a topic and then write a paragraph that follows the list/number pattern. After you’re happy with the results, annotate each element in the paragraph.

In a writing assignment for another course, apply one or both patterns to at least two paragraphs and bring the results to class.

Sentences

Revise the following sentence to bring the subject and verb closer to each other. If you need to break the sentence into parts, that’s fine.

We, because of abuse with respect to our email system, because of the need to protect the privacy of our email communication, because of our need to cultivate an efficient workplace, and because we may be liable for inappropriate email messages subjected to you, have asked for a criminal investigation. (43 words between subject and verb)

Keeping in mind that the average business sentence should contain about 20 words, revise the following sentence into digestible chunks.

When drawing equipment from storage, the Marine Corps could continue to utilize the Brigade 12 and Host Nation Support Battalion to provide Anti Terrorist and Force Protection security thus ensuring the minimum numbers of Marines are utilized for movement of equipment and also utilizing an ally to provide this type of security that would be conducted in a professional manners, a strategy that is not the case in other parts of the world.

This paragraph comes from a memo about a company strike and contains information for employees who choose to cross the picket line. Revise it to show sentence variety, which should also show the rhetorical relationship between sentences. Label each sentence with the pattern you applied to it.

You should have passengers in your vehicle watch the picketers while you’re crossing the picket line. Drivers need to focus their attention on the picketers in front of and in the immediate vicinity of their path. The front seat passenger can watch the right side of the vehicle. The left rear passenger can watch the left side of the vehicle, and the right rear passenger can watch the back of the vehicle. You need to watch for picketers throwing items at your vehicle. You should look for employees who may be standing close to your vehicle with sharp objects that might be scraped along the side of the vehicle passing through a group of picketers. You should also look for picketers who might try to throw something under your tires.

This paragraph comes from Cisco’s 2010 Letter to Shareholders. Revise it to show sentence variety, which should also show the rhetorical relationship between sentences. Label each sentence with the pattern you applied to it.

Collaboration is changing the way we communicate. Business today requires everyone to navigate complex intercompany networks of customers, colleagues, and partners. We believe companies that embrace collaborative processes and tools that allow their employees, customers, and partners to connect and interact anytime, anywhere, via any device will be the ones most able to realize the increases in operational speed and efficiency necessary to thrive and excel. Cisco’s networking technology provides the platform that allows users to collaborate quickly, safely, and effectively across devices, operating systems, wired and wireless networks, and business applications. We have learned much about the power of collaboration within our own company, and we are working to share this knowledge with our customers every day.