Below is the feedback from the examiners for my thesis.
– What it is in black is my writing (from my thesis)
– Bold text is my supervisor comments
– What it is highlighted in yellow is the examiners’ feedback and suggestion
– What it is highlighted in green is my notes and what I wan.
(This from page 20 as it is indicated)…in the West, childhood innocence has been appraised and closely associated with Christianity. For instance, Jean-Jacques Rousseau praised what he referred to as ‘the natural innocence and goodness of the child’ (Robinson, 2013, p. 43). Western society strived to ensure the protection of the child’s innocence. In general, this reflected divine purity that was emphasised among Christian conservatives (Robinson, 2013). However, within recent years, there has been increased anxiety and moral panic among Western societies regarding the welfare of children. In this case, child protection has come under threat from paedophiles. The panic has led to calls for enhanced surveillance among children to protect them from ‘stranger danger’, child abuse and paedophilia.
Around the world, discourses of childhood and childhood innocence have been successfully employed to foster moral panic for political gains by social and moral conservatives. Moral panic operates to maintain social order in societies and in the context of child¬hood; it has especially been mobilised to perpetuate the control of heter¬onormative narratives. Started through media and political discourses, moral panic focused on ‘stranger danger’ reinforces myths and stereotypes about children’s public vulnerabilities, often eclipsing their private vulnerabili¬ties in the privileged White middle-class nuclear family. Discourses of child¬hood innocence and protection have largely rendered children’s sexual subjectivities invisible and have often been the rationale for denying their access to relevant and important knowledge about sexuality and relationships (Robinson, 2013).
As a result, children’s daily lives are subjected to strict surveillance and regulations as a result of the heightened concern, or moral panic, around their potential vulnerability to sexual environments. However, it is misplaced or displaced towards a target that is not the ‘real’ problem. As evidenced, moral panic was used as a political strategy by individuals and governments to manipulate social reaction in favour of their own conservative political agendas. Media angers redirect social reaction away from critical issues that warrant public debate, such as human rights and citizenship, towards manufactured ‘folk devils’ that become the focus of public scaremongering.
Western civilisation was characterised by the Industrial Revolution that led to an emergence of capitalism and the middle class. During this time, childhood had to change in order to meet the requirements of the time. The middle class enjoyed some prosperity in economic terms. At this time, the children from the middle class were more protected (MacNaughton & Davis, 2009). Compulsory public education was introduced to capture the demands of the time. This was meant to promote literacy among the population, as well as impart Christian morals among children (Robinson, 2013).
I put all my writing here just in case of any repetition, so please read it carefully, especially the work of Robinson (2013)
Hussain to add clarity and qualification to the points regarding Christianity and
childhood innocence on p. 20 by revising and checking the Robinson (2013).
Examiner 2 argues that in Catholicism there is no construction of childhood
innocence. Her suggestion is that the candidate’s claim is too broad and
qualification is needed. She recommends that Hussain go back to Robinson’s work to clarify this point. (you can use different opinions other authors opinions)
Not sure about the claims Christianly and childhood innocence on p. 20 are correct. I have a Catholic background, and in that branch of Christianity, at least there is no assumption of childhood innocence. There is an assumption of very child being sainted by Original Sin. Children are definitely are not locked at as pure, but as in need of baptism to remove that sin and then discipline to shape them in godly ways. Indeed, children who died before Baptism are assumed to go to Purgatory because of Original Sin, not directly to Heaven, As I understand it, there are some doctrinal differences between these teachings and those of other branches of Christianity. In any case the claims about ‘Christianity’ in your text seem too board. Perhaps they apply to a certain branch of Christianity?
So, can you double check Robinson (2013)? Do you need to put some qualifications around Robinsoion’s claims?
Also, I think you should explain who Robinson is referring to when s/he writers of “Christian conservatives”?
I will upload Robinsoion’s article
Please write 300 words about above, or you may correct some of Robinsoion’s work if I misunderstood her claim.
In the West, secularism has taken centre stage. The West has embraced globalisation, and this has had a great impact on children’s education. Children are not restricted from accessing information, especially with the advent of the internet (M. Davies, 2008). Nevertheless, there is moral panic about this access and the impact it is having on children’s lives (L. Green, Brady, Olafsson, Hartley & Lumby, 2011). In addition, as education is a compulsory requirement for children in the Western society, it is considered a right that children are educated (UNICEF, 2007).
Hussain is to revise the claim that children in the West are not restricted to the
Internet and he needs to modify the claim and avoid broad generalisations.
Please write 200 words to revise it and make it as what the examiners and supervisors want.
Understanding the new generation of children from Western and Islamic perspectives is critical. These children live in different worlds and schools, and deal with different internet home friends. The Western perspective has become secular and easily embraces the concept of globalisation. However, the Islamic perspective has been conservative although there are some traces where the system is moving away from the established tradition (Louv, 2008).
Hussain is to modify the statement ‘the Western perspective has become secular
and easily embraces the concept of globalisation’, to include the diversity of
perspectives towards globalisation in the West including religious reactions to
Please write 150 words to avoid the claim of the western perspective become secular, you might use different perspectives of the West…
Speaking and writing Arabic is a key part of learning. In the context of learning Arabic, reading forms an integral part of teaching pronunciation and intonation of words in Arabic. Since there are many dialects within the Arabic language, pronunciations may vary from one dialect to another. In the classroom, there was inadequate emphasis on pronunciation, thus creating frustration among students and the author. Word for word meaning and translation are very important in an Arabic language classroom. According to Cruickshank (2012), a conscientious learner is willing to work hard, show appreciation and maintain good habits. Learning a new language takes dedication and these learners are dedicated to the course. Memorisation is an indispensable aspect of learning Arabic because it is linked to performance.
Hussain needs to add some additional information to page 55 (2nd paragraph), in the discussion of Cruikshank’s study to include a statement about the differences between languages and dialects, pointing out that the standard variant of a language is a dialect that is privileged, rather than present non-standard variants as ‘dialects’.
I will upload Cruikshank’s article, please write 200 words more about the article with considering the examiners feedback.
Examiner 1 appreciated the embedding of the research in technological changes
but recommends the work of Walter Ong to compare changes in philosophical views of literacy and orality in terms of religion. We suggest that his work be integrated into the discussion of what is literacy to extend on the work of Street, Luke and Freebody.
Please write 250 about the work of Walter Ong to compare changes in philosophical views of literacy and orality in terms of religion
We recommend that Hussain take note of the Examiner’s comments in relation to Communicative language teaching (CLT) and its influence from different disciplines.
One problem with communicative language teaching (CLT) is that it is really a mix of different traditions – the American work from Hymes, Canale and then Krashen; the work of the Council of Europe and Van Ek and the Common European Framework and the educational changes in the UK in the 1970s. CLT is really a development in language teaching – there were crossovers between this and developments in educational pedagogy and literacy in the 1970s but NLT and critical literacy owe more to ethnographic/ anthropological and also Freirian work and their impact on mainstream literacy approaches in the US and UK. This is only my personal view but I appreciated and enjoyed the discussion in this chapter.
Please write 200 words about CLT with attention to both examiners and supervisors feedback.
Please use this work of new London Group particularly ‘situated practice’. I used new litercies theory as main theory, to in the literature of communicative language teaching (CLT) approaches.
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